Thank You (Summer in Review)

I've been back from Chicago for three days now, and have been overwhelmed with gratitude for you, for those who supported me. Those who gave financially allowed for me to focus entirely on working for the church without stressing about how I would eat. I thank you for your sacrifice and greatly appreciate your support over the past few months. 

More so than money, I appreciated your prayers. I spent the summer away from my family, fiancé, and most of my friends. It was my first time spending an extended time completely away from home. There were definitely low points when I struggled with loneliness, but I was also very aware that I was being  held up by you and your prayers. 

Thank you. 

This summer was full of walking, biking, bible-study, coffee-drinking, graphic design, cotton-candy machine cleaning, bounce-houses, prayer, block parties, street soccer, meetings, tacos, and learning more of what it means to live into the calling of God. 

When I was growing up, I did Tae Kwon Do for 3 years. I took a few tests and climbed a couple ranks in my class. Each test involved breaking boards by punching them. I remember being taught by the instructors that breaking boards will hurt your hands, but only if you pull your punches. 

Pulling your punches is what happens when you get afraid of being hurt, so you don't use your full power. The result is you actually cause the pain you were trying to avoid. The way to break boards is to punch with all your strength, to let go of your fear, to lean in. 

That's what this summer was for me. At different points I pulled my punches, I got afraid of failure, of looking foolish, of messing up. In those times, I did fail. I was foolish! There were other times as well, times when I decided to lean in, to follow through, to let go of my fear. In those times, I was more aware of the grace of God and the grace of his people. Your prayers were strength in my arm and steadiness to my feet. Thank you. 

May we all lean into God together. 

Internship Update 3/10 "Risk Big"

I'm the type of guy who usually plays it safe. I like to stick to my old patterns and habits, keep to what I know, what I know I can succeed at. Failure is avoided through staying away from risk. I make myself comfortable in mediocrity so that I don't have to worry about being uncomfortable in failure. Most of the time this works okay. But as I've begun to mature a little bit, I find myself increasingly restless in the endless pursuit of comfort. 

I'm a good student. It's always been a source of some level of pride from me. But sometimes being a good student can make you a bad worker. When you get conditioned with a syllabus mindset, you get used to somebody telling you exactly what to do and when to do it. It works well in school to submit to that structure. But when that structure goes away after school, you fall apart. 

What am I supposed to do now? 

The answer: to work with diligence and excellence. To look at the world around you and see where you can bring the love, hope, joy, and restoration that comes when people get to know Jesus. That work comes with a high level of risk. The stakes are big. When you try to disciple people, you become accountable to God for your treatment of his bride, the church. Talk about an intimidating job description! 

Discipleship is absolutely impossible without the Spirit of God taking an active role in carrying it out. A life lived for Christ is a life lived entirely dependent on the power of God to bear fruit in our lives. There's a lot of risk and a lot of trust involved in making the choice to live that way. And yet the risk pales in comparison with the blessings that come along with such a lifestyle. We each have to weigh it out for ourselves and make the jump one way or the other. We all have to trust something. 

I pray that God gives me the courage to have faith.

Internship Update 2/10 "Future Fruit"

This week I've been thinking about dirt. Some of that is because I ride my bike every day through the sweat and smog of the city streets. Some of that is because I've been doing some gardening. This week flew by, leaving me scratching my head after it was over, wondering where all the time went. 

I think there's two ways of thinking about dirt: 

The first is to brush it out of the way, to view it as an obstacle to our goals. We want things to be neat and clean. Dirt is the opposite of that. It gets under your nails, it smells like rotting things, it stains your clothes. We sweep, vacuum, or mop it up. We scrub it away. Even the dirt outside can be viewed as a negative thing. In a garden, after a long winter, the dirt is hard and dry. If the grass has been trampled away, we plant grass. Dirt is an eyesore. This is the way a housekeeper views the dirt. Their job is to maintain and manage. 

The second way is to see the dirt as potential. This is the way gardeners see the dirt. When a gardener sees a bare spot of soil, they see the future fruit. They grab a shovel and go to work. They break up the hard ground, turn it over, replenish the nutrients with rich compost. When the ground is adequately worked, they plant seeds, digging their fingers down into the soil. Watering, weeding, and waiting. The gardener works to create the necessary environment to produce fruit. The sun and the rain do the the rest of the work. 

Every day, we are confronted with the choice to see the dirt as either a Housekeeper or a Gardener. Each moment, we can choose to either leave the ground hard or to get down and dirty up our hands. 

An internship is a chance to make that choice. I pray that God gives me the grit and determination to work the soil. I pray that the Holy Spirit will send fresh rains of spiritual revitalization in this neighborhood, city, and nation. Will you pray alongside me? 

Internship Update 1/10 "Open Doors"

My first week in Albany Park went so quickly! It doesn’t feel completely real yet, and I found myself thinking about AP like a camp; that I would be headed back home soon. I’m sure in the next week or two it’ll begin to set in more that I’m going to be here for awhile. This place feels very foreign to me, with all sorts of new smells, sights, and sounds to get used to as well as a whole new set of rules that are different from my home. Even so, it feels right.

My journey with New Life began on an impulse, but every door has opened before me with barely any difficulty so far. During the preparation for coming here, I thought of this lack of resistance as a sign that God was preparing a place for me here. After being here a little while, that feeling is continually confirmed within me. I don’t know if God is calling me to Chicago or New Life long term, but I think that he definitely called me here for this summer. That reassurance has set my mind and heart at ease. The biggest challenge for me so far is feeling hesitant to step into conversations. I don’t know the people here yet, and I don’t want to be too pushy or risk coming off as a know-it-all. At the same time, the brevity of my time here is always at the back of my mind, and I want to make an impact for Christ while I am here. There’s an energy and urgency for this summer as the church is in a time of big transition. This presents new opportunities for growth and also new challenges. 

I’m praying that God will give me boldness when I need to be bold and shut me up when I just need to listen. Please pray with me that God would open up the door for a new location for our church to meet in. Thank you so much for your continued support!